The Things You Forget

Something that I would love to have, as a person, would be to have some kind of built-in check off list that either flashed in front of my eyes or was built into a watch or something. Because here’s what currently happens: I have a list of bajillion things to get to. Write a blog post, edit a chapter, write a chapter, clean the bathrooms, bathe the puppy, get a surprise for the fiance, meet up with a friend, work out, tan, make sure my social profiles are up to date, etc. I do maybe three of those and my brain suddenly goes “List done!”. I end up doing something unproductive, like watching my k-dramas, scroll around Facebook mindlessly or lounging about on my butt for several hours. And then a couple months later, I do something like log into my writing Tumblr and go “Sweet Moses! I haven’t had the queue updated here since January?”. And the thing is is that I actually wanted to be up to date on that. I wanted to be engaged in that community because it’s something I enjoy, it’s something I find useful and/or good for me; I just let it fall off by the wayside because I forget in the mess of everything else I wanted to get done.

And it’s not like I don’t have time to do that stuff. I wasn’t happy mindlessly scrolling Facebook. I honestly feel dissatisfied if I have nothing to do, if I don’t have a task. I think that this happens because I currently have this process of prioritizing- a list of things from one to one hundred about what needs to get done first, and so on down. And when I get done with the things that were top priority I just forget about the rest of them. Maybe because they are all of an equal importance? Maybe because after the first couple it just becomes overwhelming because there no actual organization?

So to avoid this problem from continuing on, in the next couple of weeks I’m going to set out a schedule for myself. Monday- refresh queues on Tumblr, Tuesday- refresh boards on Pinterest, Wednesday for contributing to conversations on Goodreads, for example. Basically parcel out each day for some kind of social media maintenance so that I can make sure I’m keeping up without having to feel overwhelmed. Because a lot of this I could even do from my mobile devices while I’m at work, during my lunch hours and whatnot, so even if I were to have a busier night schedule than usual, I wouldn’t fall off the wagon. Hopefully. Because we all know what I’ve said about best laid plans before. I think the important thing here is me trying out new strategies until I find one that really works for me, so that I can be more involved and engaged with you, my readers, and the world at large in a way that is beneficial for all of us.

That being said, is there anything you would like me to talk more about or do on social media that I haven’t? Less updates, more ‘Why I Write’? More writing tips? More publishing tips? More promotional things? More news on projects coming up? I’m always here, and I love to talk to people about my writing. Just send me a message through thisthis, or comment below!

Becoming a Better Writer: LARP

Sorry for the lack of postings in the last couple of weeks. I have been busy moving in and settling down in my new house with my fiance- which turned into a bigger, messier ordeal than originally planned. With that and the Easter holiday out of the way, I have more time to get back to focusing on my writing. Which is something I tend to say anytime a big change happens, isn’t it? And those happen a lot, it seems. I’ve come to terms with this reality: I can plan for all the little things I want, and that doesn’t mean I’m going to be capable of following through. But that doesn’t mean I have to give up, either. So here we are, blogging again, promising again to get back on track and plug through. All I can give you there is the promise to try, try again. And sometimes, that’s all we can do.

Something else that has been taking up my time recently is LARP. For the un-nerdy readers I have, that stands for Live Action Role Play. The game I am involved in lies in the World of Darkness: Changeling setting, and is more character-and-story based than the sword-battles-in-the-field stereotype of LARPing would have you believe.

And as much as me and my fiance’s new commitment to LARPing twice every month, and doing the writing work for the downtimes in between sessions has definitely taken out some of my free time (that could be editing or marketing time), it’s been immensely helpful in my writing. It’s not just the making characters and the writing scenarios, either. It’s the coming up against other people’s characters, and their writing. It’s the figuring out how a character would react versus how I would react. It’s the realizing what kind of choices other people enjoy or few as feasible in a character arc, as compared to what I view as entertaining or a good plot twist.

As an author, there’s this huge temptation to turn inward. To reject criticism, to protect one’s projects like you would a small infant, to edit and perfect according to one’s own taste. To a point, that’s good. You want your writing to be yours, not anyone else’s, and you don’t want outside influences to tame your unique vision for your work. At the same time, any writing that is published is a cooperative between the author and the reader- and, in writing that coop, it is more effective to have that in mind than to write for an empty room. That’s not changing your vision to fit the whims of other people- that’s allowing yourself the space to learn and take value from others. To honor their time and their sensibilities.

My LARP experience has forced me to really recognize that. But you could find the same thing in a writing group, online or in person. You could do paragraph roleplaying on an online forum. You could swap critiques with an author you admire. Find the way that fits you best- and let that change your writing for the better.

Becoming a Better Writer: Making Time for Reading

It’s easy for me to be hard on myself for not making enough time for writing new material, or for editing material that needs a ton of workshopping. With a busy lifestyle, it’s easy to let my ‘personal’ work fall by the wayside while I get distracted by other things. But I’m good at reminding myself that I am behind on my writing. I’m good at punishing myself for it by doing twice as much work the next day, and I usually only get behind by a couple of weeks at the maximum. It’s more of a healthy cycle of slowing down so that I have more energy to pick things up again than it is me falling off the wagon.

Reading on the other hand? It’s hard to keep at it. Which, it shouldn’t be. I love reading. It’s one of the major reasons why I got into writing in the first place. I should be devouring new novels at a chapter an hour, lovingly pouring over each one and cataloging all of the useful plot devices and characterizations that I can use to strengthen my own writing in the future.

I don’t, though. I go to the bookstore and get discouraged because it’s either a new book or a bag of treats for my puppy, I choose to watch k-dramas with my little sister instead of getting through more chapters, I do a couple of Irish lessons on Duolingo instead of going forward, I do the laundry instead of going out to get more books, etc. And it’s easier to convince myself that it doesn’t matter. Reading someone else’s work isn’t as important as adding another paragraph to my own manuscripts, right? Besides, I’ll have plenty of time to continue reading later.

A good writer is a good reader. When I’m 10 novels behind on my Goodreads challenge for the year, I’ve starved myself of a valuable resource. I’ve denied myself 10 new perspectives, 10 new opportunities to support new authors, or marginalized authors, 10 new ways to see how plots can come together, how characters can relate, how different cultures, religions, time periods, etc. can interact with each other.

As a writer, I must be an intentional reader. I’ve talked before about how that means being intentional about what I read. Lately it’s dawned on me that this also means I must be intentional about reading in the first place. I need to save time nearly every day to read. It can be an hour, it can be twenty minutes. The dedication is what is important, and keeps me out of ruts. When I’m low on funds, I need to allot time to visit the library, or the local thrift store. (If I can’t support other authors with my money, I can at least support them with word-of-mouth recommendations!) I’ve been picking up the slack lately, and hopefully I’ll get better at this.

How about you? How will you become a more intentional reader? Or, if you’ve always been one, how do you stay encouraged?

Why I Write: About Tattoos

In the second book of the ‘Once Upon a Reality series, To Dwell in Dreams, one of the most physically unique things about Lyn is the giant tattoo on her back. Besides being one of the more fun tie-ins to the original fairy-tale the novel is based in (Sleeping Beauty), Lyn’s tattoo is central to the story in how it highlights her state of mind and eventually facilitates her healing process.

This was definitely a case of ‘write what you know’. Tattoos can mean many things to different people, sometimes positive and sometimes not. I currently have two tattoos and nine piercings. For me, body modification gives me a way to take control of my own body, of my own future, even when it feels like control has been stolen from me. As someone who has suffered through physical, mental and emotional abuse, this means a lot. It’s one thing for me to tell myself that I feel fine, that I think I’m okay and that I’ve healed from what has happened. It is another thing entirely for me to endure the pain of body modification, to ‘sear over’ the past and start truly cleansed. It takes a certain level of dedication, intention, and perseverance. It costs money, time, and (in some cases) the opinion of other’s. It requires a promise: that I will not go back on myself, and the progress I’ve made in becoming myself, as long as that tattoo or hole remains on my body.

When I write certain characters, especially those who have gone through a huge life experience or are exceedingly certain of themselves, I tend to write them as characters who have body modifications. In the ‘Once Upon a Reality’ series, Lyn is the first openly modded character. You’ll meet more as the series progresses, and even more when I complete my current fantasy projects. In my experience, body modification is an avenue through which to claim yourself for your own path. As a Catholic, this also means claiming myself for my unique purpose; for my own, special vocation.

So don’t be surprised if you see more tatted and pierced characters in my upcoming books. In fact, I’d encourage you to really analyze at what kind of modification they get, when, and where. It’s as important as any of their other characterizations, and I would be disappointed if readers just wrote them off.

If you’re an author, do you ever write characters with body modifications? If you’re a reader, how do you perceive body mods?

Progress: The Thing About Apples

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I’m sure celebrating, though not just for the holiday. After a rough writing period, I have finally finished The Thing About Apples. This draft has taken me the longest to complete, considering its length, and is in the most need of a thorough edit. I’m glad I pushed through it, though, as it’s easier to move forward with shaping this raw material than it is to try to bang it out right the first time. 

The schedule for now is that I’m going to leave the project for a week while I’m in Ireland, and then print out the typed draft to begin editing chapter by chapter. That’s thirty chapters to edit, many of them needing either a good bit more fleshing out or, in some cases, a complete overhaul. My plan is to finish the first edit by the summer, leave it for about a month, and then either edit it again myself or give it to my editor to see what edits he thinks should be made. Also waiting on my beta readers to finish their once overs on the project to add/act on their recommendations. So optimistically I should have The Thing About Apples ready for formal submission around the end of summer or beginning of fall. Wish me luck! 

Though I’ll be taking a break from this series after finishing this third book to work on more fantasy projects, I do have the next book planned. It will be a Cinderella story based around a teen mom, tentatively titled Walking on Glass.

What do you hope to see from either of these titles, readers? I’m always open to suggestions!

Becoming a Better Writer: Being Charitable

Charity tends to be one of those things that people think of as an ‘extra’ thing. Something one does after they’ve accumulated x amount of money or paid off y amount of debt; one of those extracurriculars for the holiday that makes you feel better about spending just a little more on you and yours. Especially with those in my age group, young professionals in their twenties and thirties, charity is something to do after marriage, after a mortgage, after kids… There are a lot of reasons, but they all tend to be ‘afters’.

In my opinion, this outlook doesn’t ever lead to genuine charity. The biggest lie we tell ourselves is the lie of tomorrow- that we will have one, that it will go as planned. When we get in the habit of putting off charity for ‘after’, we give ourselves that permission to continue building after upon after until we’ve wasted decades being hard of heart and uncharitable. Decades that could have changed the lives of innumerable people, blessed the days of those who needed it most and left the world in its broken state, complaining of it at the same time that we didn’t lift a finger to change anything.

‘But I don’t make much!’ Neither do I. I’m a twenty two year old young woman who writes novels and poetry, working fifty some hours a week as a full time nanny to pay off a car and save for a house as I live with my parents.

I used to have the mentality, back in high school, that I would begin to donate my money when I got a job. I didn’t. Then I told myself I would donate when I got in college. I didn’t. I went on the occasional mission trip, dropped a dollar in the red buckets at Christmas… But that was an afterthought, not charity. That was throwing money and time that I saw as mine, the smallest amount possible, at the first thing I saw to try to make myself feel like a good person.

Becoming a nanny and a published author has changed my perspective on a lot of things- my idea of charity, namely. When I was published, I decided that I would donate 10% (the amount of a ‘tithe’ in the words of my religion) to coo responding charities. I was filled with dreams of donating thousands of dollars right off the bat, doing good while getting mine at the same time.

Well, first royalty check came around and let’s just say it wasn’t exactly up to par. My excitement at the fact that anyone would read my work was soon eclipsed by the realization that donating 10% would mean donating only a couple dollars- which made me feel pretty bad. I ended up donating more than I earned that period. And I was glad for it.

My idea of charity changed from that point on. I didn’t just pledge 10% of my royalties- I now donate a half-tithe to my home parish every month from my paycheck. I volunteer my time every week as a mentor at my friends’ church for the high school youth. I came to the realization that once I looked at myself with the eyes of charity that I had so much more to give than I had ever imagined- love, time, resources, experience, patience… I keep waiting for the list to end but it really doesn’t.

When you stop thinking in terms of ‘after’, your whole world changes. I’ve become less attached to my things, more open to people. I’ve become more vulnerable concerning the places where I am suffering, more willing to ask for help, and better prepared to muscle through. I’m learning to prioritize, to feel a strong sense of justice and to nurture love within myself for all those I encounter.

And as I have always held, the better I become as a person, the more I become authentically ‘me’, the better I will be as an author.

How do you nurture your own sense of charity? How does it make you a better reader or writer?

On Budgeting and Schedules

January is a prime time for getting your life together, and for once I’m grabbing it by the horns and giving it all I’ve got.

Lately I’ve been dwelling more on where I want to be in five years- Namely married, in a home I’ve bought and with a paid off car. When I dream, I sure don’t dream small. With all of the work I’ve already done, these things are viable. But I need to work harder. Work smarter. I need to reduce my spending by almost half and get serious about saving. I need to manage my time even better in order to capitalize on what I can do. I need to become more efficient with my self-care so that I can achieve my dreams without letting myself go.

Easy, right? A large part of me wants to take a long walk off a short bridge just at the thought of all of this. If I get so stressed out just thinking about it, how can I ever manage it? My goals are worthy, but even the thought of what I can have with just a little more discipline is rarely enough to make me feel better.

That’s when I remind myself that this has never been about making myself feel better. This is about making me better, period. Parts of that are going to suck. It’s not going to feel good. It’s going to make me angry and sad sometimes. I’m going to want to give up and give in more often than not.

At the end of the day, however, I’ll be in a better position. More time to devote to writing. More time to devote to raising a family. Less worries about car payments so I can move on to mortgage payments and saving for my children in the future. Preparing for my family now, as a single young adult, will help me become a better wife and mother, which will lay the foundations for my spouse and my children having that freedom and peace within which to become people who can change the world. If I can make myself better, I can ensure that there are more opportunities for those around me to be the best versions of themselves.

So in reality, I’m not making stricter budgets and schedules just for myself. I’m making them to benefit all those I love, all of those I come in contact with. And if that doesn’t always make me feel good, I can at least find peace in reflecting on that.

On that note, Once Upon A Reality will be switching from a sporadic posting schedule to regularly scheduled posts every other Sunday. If you have a post topic you would like to have me cover, or have a guest post you would wish to submit, feel free to comment or e-mail me with your ideas. Otherwise, here’s to a rejuvenated discipline!

Becoming a Better Writer: Pushing Through

Something that I have realized in the past year is that I am not the kind of writer who would be writing only when the muse hits. I’m not responsible enough for that. I started writing The Thing About Apples back in the spring during my ‘off’ semester. Then I took time off because of a move, then more time off because of switching families (for nannying), then more time off for relationship issues, then more time off for the holidays…. instead of actually writing when the muse hit, I ended up making excuses for not writing. I would push things off to the next day, truly and completely believing that I’d have time tomorrow. But tomorrow would come and I’d be stressed, or the new Dragon Age game would come out, or my family would want to go see Annie, and all that time from yesterday when I should have been writing was already gone.

There are definitely writers out there who can write when the muse hits, I don’t want to deny that they exist. And that I am exceedingly jealous of them. I also know, however, that there are other writers out there like me: the ones who say that we like to write when the muse hits, when really we are just looking for excuses not to write. We’re afraid what we’ll do on a schedule won’t be good enough, we don’t think the idea we have right now is the best one, we don’t want to face some of the plot holes and walls of bad character development that we’ve written ourselves into. We think that maybe, just maybe, if we wait for a better day that these problems will resolve themselves.

In my experience, they don’t. Those problems continue to sit there, and they actually get worse as time goes on and the freshness of the story begins to fade. I forget where I was even going with the plot, or with certain characters, and I spend a lot of my time backtracking just to push forward instead of leaving that to the editing process later, as I most likely should.

So this year, to become a better writer myself, I’m dedicated to writing on a schedule. I won’t beat myself up if I make word count every day, but I’m going to start taking it seriously when I miss a weeks’ worth of writing, as I did in 2014. I’m going to push past my fear of that not-quite perfect first draft that doesn’t exist and allow myself to write badly in order to write often. I’m going to shoulder aside my distaste for a long editing process. I’m going to push myself out of that realm of ‘hobby’ writer, and in to the ranks of professional writers. I’m going to treat my novels-in-progress the same way I would a career project, instead of like pets or children. I’m going to push myself to my limits, and hopefully come out the better for it.

What kind of excuses have you made, currently or in the past, that keep you from writing as you should?

Update: Last Semester and Short Stories

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a purely update-y post, so I figured I’d dedicate some of my free time today to kicking one out. I’ve really jumped in to the swing of this last semester here at my college, which has put a decided strain on my writing work. Most of my free time has been used for editing my undergraduate thesis, and a lot of the critical feedback that I used to get on my in-progress pieces has virtually disappeared  as I have less and less time to dedicate to going to workshops and the like in the wake of my three jobs and five classes.

Which isn’t to say that I’ve halted production, or anything. Just that it’s slowed down a bit. Regardless of my otherwise hectic life, I’ve been continuing the build up of my writing portfolio.  During class, after class, waiting for my assignments to download, I’ve been challenging myself to write more and more short stories that are entirely disassociated with the ‘Once Upon a Reality’ series. After finishing To Dwell in Dreams, I’ve found that I’m beginning to lose some of my enthusiasm for the project. I don’t hate it, and I definitely want to take the project all the way to the series’ conclusion… but I find it personally exhausting when I limit myself to one goal for my writing, rather than allowing myself to simply write and see what kind of meaning can come out of that. So to rid myself of the slump, I’ve put off beginning The Thing About Apples, possibly until we have a set schedule for when/how To Dwell in Dreams will be published.

To that end, I’m focusing on short stories- I’ve finished the first draft of Good Women and am hoping to get that edited and revised in time to at least submit it to eLectio publishing’s short works contest. The short stories I’ve been working on are very much along the same vein as ‘Wanakufa’ and ‘He Who Wrestles With God’ are. That is, slice-of-life fictional memoir type pieces that tend to focus on crisis’ or challenging of one’s faith in both a higher purpose and one’s self, and the meaning of relationships between selves. For every four of those kinds of stories that I write, I feel only one or two are really fit for publication- but I feel like I won’t even get to the ‘worth publication’ stories if I don’t keep just writing and revising, etc. So we’ll see if anything comes out of this ‘break’ period- if nothing else, the practice with varying types of characters and dialogue and point of view will be refreshing and valuable.

As for the fun things that have happened lately- I’m now 21! I got to have my first legal drink with my friends at the Bookbar, which is a local bookstore and wine lounge that carries my book. It was really fun to be able to drink my wine like a big girl while at the same time pointing to my physical first book on a shelf surrounded by some of the people that I love and enjoy most. Also fun to note- I wore the same dress for my twenty-first that I wore for my sweet sixteen.  It’s fun to note that, even with everything seemingly changing and rearranging around me in this past and coming year- the book, the impending graduation, and many other more personal firsts and changes- there are still some things that don’t ever seem to change!

Look forward to the release of my next short story this upcoming Sunday from Hirschworth online magazine- I’ll be sure to post a link. It’s worth noting that this piece of my work is entirely free to read- so if you’ve been wanting to try out reading my stuff before, but haven’t wanted to spend the dough to do so, you’ll get your chance this week! Can’t wait to see what you all think of it!

 

End of May Progress Report

Now that I have a new computer and I’m getting more and more used to it, I’m starting to get back into the swing of things. It’s nice not having to steal little seconds from my younger siblings’ computers again. With my own computer back, I can really just sit down and devote a lot of my time to work and publicity related activities. It’s taking me a bit to really get used to how Windows 8 and the new Office Suite works, though. I love the easier templates in the new Office Word though- especially the one for formatting book manuscripts (yay). And I love being able to save to the SkyDrive as well. So, positive progress- but also slow progress, as far as learning my computer is concerned.

Isn’t getting too much in the way of working, however. After the positive reviews that have come in recently, I’m now scheduled to be reviewed by four different review blogs- two of them in the near future, and two of them more around August-ish. One of the reviewers is even in England! So I suppose, in a very small way, ‘Till the Last Petal Falls is going international! Every little step counts. I’m excited and nervous to see what these reviewers will have to say about my debut novel… one always hopes for glowing positives, but prepares for the worst.

I’ve been working more and more on my Tumblr presence, and loving it. If you want to know more about writing tips that I follow (from other writers), or causes I support, or discussions I’m a part of, I recommend you networking with me there. I’m thinking of putting up some quotes from ‘Till the Last Petal Falls that I particularly like… if any of my readers have a favorite of their own, go ahead and comment it and I’ll put it up with a nice pretty graphic.

Other than that, though, I’m still waiting for all of my beta-readers to get through my manuscript so I can start editing the crud out of it. I’ve gotten some wonderful feedback and targeted most of my weak spots and made plans to strengthen the central message of the manuscript… and my older sister has been a wealth of knowledge regarding the main character’s stay in England, so that I can make my manuscript as accurate and believable as possible. I’m also taking everything I’ve learned from this first book and applying it to the next one- always improving!

June’s coming up fast, and I’m going to finally start my job as a nanny during the weekdays, as well as writing my thesis at night, so I’m probably not going to get much new work done. I will also be actively editing during that time though, so I’ll keep everyone updated on when To Dwell in Dreams is close to being able to be sent out for publication.

Thanks for sticking with me!