The Things You Forget

Something that I would love to have, as a person, would be to have some kind of built-in check off list that either flashed in front of my eyes or was built into a watch or something. Because here’s what currently happens: I have a list of bajillion things to get to. Write a blog post, edit a chapter, write a chapter, clean the bathrooms, bathe the puppy, get a surprise for the fiance, meet up with a friend, work out, tan, make sure my social profiles are up to date, etc. I do maybe three of those and my brain suddenly goes “List done!”. I end up doing something unproductive, like watching my k-dramas, scroll around Facebook mindlessly or lounging about on my butt for several hours. And then a couple months later, I do something like log into my writing Tumblr and go “Sweet Moses! I haven’t had the queue updated here since January?”. And the thing is is that I actually wanted to be up to date on that. I wanted to be engaged in that community because it’s something I enjoy, it’s something I find useful and/or good for me; I just let it fall off by the wayside because I forget in the mess of everything else I wanted to get done.

And it’s not like I don’t have time to do that stuff. I wasn’t happy mindlessly scrolling Facebook. I honestly feel dissatisfied if I have nothing to do, if I don’t have a task. I think that this happens because I currently have this process of prioritizing- a list of things from one to one hundred about what needs to get done first, and so on down. And when I get done with the things that were top priority I just forget about the rest of them. Maybe because they are all of an equal importance? Maybe because after the first couple it just becomes overwhelming because there no actual organization?

So to avoid this problem from continuing on, in the next couple of weeks I’m going to set out a schedule for myself. Monday- refresh queues on Tumblr, Tuesday- refresh boards on Pinterest, Wednesday for contributing to conversations on Goodreads, for example. Basically parcel out each day for some kind of social media maintenance so that I can make sure I’m keeping up without having to feel overwhelmed. Because a lot of this I could even do from my mobile devices while I’m at work, during my lunch hours and whatnot, so even if I were to have a busier night schedule than usual, I wouldn’t fall off the wagon. Hopefully. Because we all know what I’ve said about best laid plans before. I think the important thing here is me trying out new strategies until I find one that really works for me, so that I can be more involved and engaged with you, my readers, and the world at large in a way that is beneficial for all of us.

That being said, is there anything you would like me to talk more about or do on social media that I haven’t? Less updates, more ‘Why I Write’? More writing tips? More publishing tips? More promotional things? More news on projects coming up? I’m always here, and I love to talk to people about my writing. Just send me a message through thisthis, or comment below!

Becoming a Better Writer: Making Time for Reading

It’s easy for me to be hard on myself for not making enough time for writing new material, or for editing material that needs a ton of workshopping. With a busy lifestyle, it’s easy to let my ‘personal’ work fall by the wayside while I get distracted by other things. But I’m good at reminding myself that I am behind on my writing. I’m good at punishing myself for it by doing twice as much work the next day, and I usually only get behind by a couple of weeks at the maximum. It’s more of a healthy cycle of slowing down so that I have more energy to pick things up again than it is me falling off the wagon.

Reading on the other hand? It’s hard to keep at it. Which, it shouldn’t be. I love reading. It’s one of the major reasons why I got into writing in the first place. I should be devouring new novels at a chapter an hour, lovingly pouring over each one and cataloging all of the useful plot devices and characterizations that I can use to strengthen my own writing in the future.

I don’t, though. I go to the bookstore and get discouraged because it’s either a new book or a bag of treats for my puppy, I choose to watch k-dramas with my little sister instead of getting through more chapters, I do a couple of Irish lessons on Duolingo instead of going forward, I do the laundry instead of going out to get more books, etc. And it’s easier to convince myself that it doesn’t matter. Reading someone else’s work isn’t as important as adding another paragraph to my own manuscripts, right? Besides, I’ll have plenty of time to continue reading later.

A good writer is a good reader. When I’m 10 novels behind on my Goodreads challenge for the year, I’ve starved myself of a valuable resource. I’ve denied myself 10 new perspectives, 10 new opportunities to support new authors, or marginalized authors, 10 new ways to see how plots can come together, how characters can relate, how different cultures, religions, time periods, etc. can interact with each other.

As a writer, I must be an intentional reader. I’ve talked before about how that means being intentional about what I read. Lately it’s dawned on me that this also means I must be intentional about reading in the first place. I need to save time nearly every day to read. It can be an hour, it can be twenty minutes. The dedication is what is important, and keeps me out of ruts. When I’m low on funds, I need to allot time to visit the library, or the local thrift store. (If I can’t support other authors with my money, I can at least support them with word-of-mouth recommendations!) I’ve been picking up the slack lately, and hopefully I’ll get better at this.

How about you? How will you become a more intentional reader? Or, if you’ve always been one, how do you stay encouraged?

Becoming a Better Writer: Nerding Out

I feel like it might almost be a given that if you are an author, you’re probably a nerd of some sort. I think some of my favorite author interviews or posts are of authors geeking out about all these different kinds of fandoms: sci-fi, music, anime, pop culture, classic lit, etc. I’ve always seen that as an author’s passion just leaking out into everything. Authors love to absorb, they love to experience, they love to try out new perspectives and make themselves uncomfortable.

I would definitely call myself a nerd. Proudly, I call myself a nerd. I’m a huge fan of Sailor Moon, Harley Quinn, shipping Rogue and Gambit, Alice in Wonderland, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series. I have prints all over my rooms, collectors books all up in my shelves, t-shirts and bags and shoes all splattered crazy with their faces and logos and quotes. I know stupid amounts of obscure trivia and I don’t find that weird. I love to talk to other nerds, to dress up with other nerds and congregate with other nerds to celebrate the awesomeness that is a shared love of  imagination and creativity.

So, of course, this past week I went back to Denver Comic Con. This was my third con, and it was also the second time I got to meet one of my favorite authors, Frank Beddor, of The Looking Glass Wars series. If you remember my last post about Frank, I cannot begin to explain what he has meant to me as an author. Pratchett may have made me love stories, and make me want to write, but Beddor taught me what a person could do with fairy-tale re-tells. With female warriors who weren’t part of a satirical world. He got me legitimately interested in trying out my own stories, knowing that it had been done. Could be done.

And this time, I didn’t nearly pass out on him (If you remember, last time I didn’t recognize him and so humiliated myself by fangirling about the series right to his face before almost breaking into hysterics and making a crying face at the camera). I was able to thank him, properly. I got another two(!) signatures and a picture to add to my little Wonderland wall (which is the featured image, also has a bunch of framed Kevin Eslinger art along with it, and the Alyss and Redd from Beddor’s series). Without him, ‘Once Upon a Reality’ wouldn’t have happened. And after seeing him again, and enjoying all of the amazing artists at DCC’15, I’m even more fired up about my upcoming projects.

I can’t wait to make some reader, someday, as excited to see me as I was excited to meet Beddor. That’s my new goal, going forward. Wish me luck!

Why I Write: About Tattoos

In the second book of the ‘Once Upon a Reality series, To Dwell in Dreams, one of the most physically unique things about Lyn is the giant tattoo on her back. Besides being one of the more fun tie-ins to the original fairy-tale the novel is based in (Sleeping Beauty), Lyn’s tattoo is central to the story in how it highlights her state of mind and eventually facilitates her healing process.

This was definitely a case of ‘write what you know’. Tattoos can mean many things to different people, sometimes positive and sometimes not. I currently have two tattoos and nine piercings. For me, body modification gives me a way to take control of my own body, of my own future, even when it feels like control has been stolen from me. As someone who has suffered through physical, mental and emotional abuse, this means a lot. It’s one thing for me to tell myself that I feel fine, that I think I’m okay and that I’ve healed from what has happened. It is another thing entirely for me to endure the pain of body modification, to ‘sear over’ the past and start truly cleansed. It takes a certain level of dedication, intention, and perseverance. It costs money, time, and (in some cases) the opinion of other’s. It requires a promise: that I will not go back on myself, and the progress I’ve made in becoming myself, as long as that tattoo or hole remains on my body.

When I write certain characters, especially those who have gone through a huge life experience or are exceedingly certain of themselves, I tend to write them as characters who have body modifications. In the ‘Once Upon a Reality’ series, Lyn is the first openly modded character. You’ll meet more as the series progresses, and even more when I complete my current fantasy projects. In my experience, body modification is an avenue through which to claim yourself for your own path. As a Catholic, this also means claiming myself for my unique purpose; for my own, special vocation.

So don’t be surprised if you see more tatted and pierced characters in my upcoming books. In fact, I’d encourage you to really analyze at what kind of modification they get, when, and where. It’s as important as any of their other characterizations, and I would be disappointed if readers just wrote them off.

If you’re an author, do you ever write characters with body modifications? If you’re a reader, how do you perceive body mods?

Progress: The Thing About Apples

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I’m sure celebrating, though not just for the holiday. After a rough writing period, I have finally finished The Thing About Apples. This draft has taken me the longest to complete, considering its length, and is in the most need of a thorough edit. I’m glad I pushed through it, though, as it’s easier to move forward with shaping this raw material than it is to try to bang it out right the first time. 

The schedule for now is that I’m going to leave the project for a week while I’m in Ireland, and then print out the typed draft to begin editing chapter by chapter. That’s thirty chapters to edit, many of them needing either a good bit more fleshing out or, in some cases, a complete overhaul. My plan is to finish the first edit by the summer, leave it for about a month, and then either edit it again myself or give it to my editor to see what edits he thinks should be made. Also waiting on my beta readers to finish their once overs on the project to add/act on their recommendations. So optimistically I should have The Thing About Apples ready for formal submission around the end of summer or beginning of fall. Wish me luck! 

Though I’ll be taking a break from this series after finishing this third book to work on more fantasy projects, I do have the next book planned. It will be a Cinderella story based around a teen mom, tentatively titled Walking on Glass.

What do you hope to see from either of these titles, readers? I’m always open to suggestions!

Becoming a Better Writer: Being Charitable

Charity tends to be one of those things that people think of as an ‘extra’ thing. Something one does after they’ve accumulated x amount of money or paid off y amount of debt; one of those extracurriculars for the holiday that makes you feel better about spending just a little more on you and yours. Especially with those in my age group, young professionals in their twenties and thirties, charity is something to do after marriage, after a mortgage, after kids… There are a lot of reasons, but they all tend to be ‘afters’.

In my opinion, this outlook doesn’t ever lead to genuine charity. The biggest lie we tell ourselves is the lie of tomorrow- that we will have one, that it will go as planned. When we get in the habit of putting off charity for ‘after’, we give ourselves that permission to continue building after upon after until we’ve wasted decades being hard of heart and uncharitable. Decades that could have changed the lives of innumerable people, blessed the days of those who needed it most and left the world in its broken state, complaining of it at the same time that we didn’t lift a finger to change anything.

‘But I don’t make much!’ Neither do I. I’m a twenty two year old young woman who writes novels and poetry, working fifty some hours a week as a full time nanny to pay off a car and save for a house as I live with my parents.

I used to have the mentality, back in high school, that I would begin to donate my money when I got a job. I didn’t. Then I told myself I would donate when I got in college. I didn’t. I went on the occasional mission trip, dropped a dollar in the red buckets at Christmas… But that was an afterthought, not charity. That was throwing money and time that I saw as mine, the smallest amount possible, at the first thing I saw to try to make myself feel like a good person.

Becoming a nanny and a published author has changed my perspective on a lot of things- my idea of charity, namely. When I was published, I decided that I would donate 10% (the amount of a ‘tithe’ in the words of my religion) to coo responding charities. I was filled with dreams of donating thousands of dollars right off the bat, doing good while getting mine at the same time.

Well, first royalty check came around and let’s just say it wasn’t exactly up to par. My excitement at the fact that anyone would read my work was soon eclipsed by the realization that donating 10% would mean donating only a couple dollars- which made me feel pretty bad. I ended up donating more than I earned that period. And I was glad for it.

My idea of charity changed from that point on. I didn’t just pledge 10% of my royalties- I now donate a half-tithe to my home parish every month from my paycheck. I volunteer my time every week as a mentor at my friends’ church for the high school youth. I came to the realization that once I looked at myself with the eyes of charity that I had so much more to give than I had ever imagined- love, time, resources, experience, patience… I keep waiting for the list to end but it really doesn’t.

When you stop thinking in terms of ‘after’, your whole world changes. I’ve become less attached to my things, more open to people. I’ve become more vulnerable concerning the places where I am suffering, more willing to ask for help, and better prepared to muscle through. I’m learning to prioritize, to feel a strong sense of justice and to nurture love within myself for all those I encounter.

And as I have always held, the better I become as a person, the more I become authentically ‘me’, the better I will be as an author.

How do you nurture your own sense of charity? How does it make you a better reader or writer?

On Budgeting and Schedules

January is a prime time for getting your life together, and for once I’m grabbing it by the horns and giving it all I’ve got.

Lately I’ve been dwelling more on where I want to be in five years- Namely married, in a home I’ve bought and with a paid off car. When I dream, I sure don’t dream small. With all of the work I’ve already done, these things are viable. But I need to work harder. Work smarter. I need to reduce my spending by almost half and get serious about saving. I need to manage my time even better in order to capitalize on what I can do. I need to become more efficient with my self-care so that I can achieve my dreams without letting myself go.

Easy, right? A large part of me wants to take a long walk off a short bridge just at the thought of all of this. If I get so stressed out just thinking about it, how can I ever manage it? My goals are worthy, but even the thought of what I can have with just a little more discipline is rarely enough to make me feel better.

That’s when I remind myself that this has never been about making myself feel better. This is about making me better, period. Parts of that are going to suck. It’s not going to feel good. It’s going to make me angry and sad sometimes. I’m going to want to give up and give in more often than not.

At the end of the day, however, I’ll be in a better position. More time to devote to writing. More time to devote to raising a family. Less worries about car payments so I can move on to mortgage payments and saving for my children in the future. Preparing for my family now, as a single young adult, will help me become a better wife and mother, which will lay the foundations for my spouse and my children having that freedom and peace within which to become people who can change the world. If I can make myself better, I can ensure that there are more opportunities for those around me to be the best versions of themselves.

So in reality, I’m not making stricter budgets and schedules just for myself. I’m making them to benefit all those I love, all of those I come in contact with. And if that doesn’t always make me feel good, I can at least find peace in reflecting on that.

On that note, Once Upon A Reality will be switching from a sporadic posting schedule to regularly scheduled posts every other Sunday. If you have a post topic you would like to have me cover, or have a guest post you would wish to submit, feel free to comment or e-mail me with your ideas. Otherwise, here’s to a rejuvenated discipline!

Becoming a Better Writer: Pushing Through

Something that I have realized in the past year is that I am not the kind of writer who would be writing only when the muse hits. I’m not responsible enough for that. I started writing The Thing About Apples back in the spring during my ‘off’ semester. Then I took time off because of a move, then more time off because of switching families (for nannying), then more time off for relationship issues, then more time off for the holidays…. instead of actually writing when the muse hit, I ended up making excuses for not writing. I would push things off to the next day, truly and completely believing that I’d have time tomorrow. But tomorrow would come and I’d be stressed, or the new Dragon Age game would come out, or my family would want to go see Annie, and all that time from yesterday when I should have been writing was already gone.

There are definitely writers out there who can write when the muse hits, I don’t want to deny that they exist. And that I am exceedingly jealous of them. I also know, however, that there are other writers out there like me: the ones who say that we like to write when the muse hits, when really we are just looking for excuses not to write. We’re afraid what we’ll do on a schedule won’t be good enough, we don’t think the idea we have right now is the best one, we don’t want to face some of the plot holes and walls of bad character development that we’ve written ourselves into. We think that maybe, just maybe, if we wait for a better day that these problems will resolve themselves.

In my experience, they don’t. Those problems continue to sit there, and they actually get worse as time goes on and the freshness of the story begins to fade. I forget where I was even going with the plot, or with certain characters, and I spend a lot of my time backtracking just to push forward instead of leaving that to the editing process later, as I most likely should.

So this year, to become a better writer myself, I’m dedicated to writing on a schedule. I won’t beat myself up if I make word count every day, but I’m going to start taking it seriously when I miss a weeks’ worth of writing, as I did in 2014. I’m going to push past my fear of that not-quite perfect first draft that doesn’t exist and allow myself to write badly in order to write often. I’m going to shoulder aside my distaste for a long editing process. I’m going to push myself out of that realm of ‘hobby’ writer, and in to the ranks of professional writers. I’m going to treat my novels-in-progress the same way I would a career project, instead of like pets or children. I’m going to push myself to my limits, and hopefully come out the better for it.

What kind of excuses have you made, currently or in the past, that keep you from writing as you should?

Becoming a Better Writer: Taking Breaks

I’m the kind of person that likes to go go go. When writing, I prefer to power straight through projects rather than do it little by little. For the most part, this works out for me. I write a little each day, force myself to at least get through a good chunk of setting or dialouge on days that I just have no desire to write, and edit in any downtime. The rest of my time is then divided up into day-job work, sleeping when necessary, a scheduled amount of social time, then plenty of reading and promoting my current works. I like to be busy. I take pride in being busy.

Even then, it’s good for me to take little breaks now and again. For me, a break period never goes beyond a month if I really need a breather. More often it tends to be a period of about two to three weeks. With the exception of jotting down a couple notes so I don’t forget about crucial brain-babies, I refuse to pick up a pen for creative writing. I put my manuscript notebooks up on a high shelf so I don’t even look at them. I stall on printing out the manuscript that needs editing. The only thing I have access to are my poetry book and my notes- both of which I will not open without a really good reason.

Since I’m the kind of person who needs to force herself to go on breaks, I still have to be productive somehow. I focus more on completing small, fun things. This can be powering through my book list and taking out more books from the library. This can be making a commitment to seeing one old friend a week, or having more get-togethers or girl’s nights for a couple weeks. At the moment, my break has taken the form of busting through all three Mass Effect games (happened to get a deal at GameStop where I got all three for fifteen bucks, whoo hoo, currently halfway through the second). I re-route my energy into these new goals so that I am capable of taking a break without neglecting my own mental health. Might not sound like the most common way to go about keeping myself at my mental peak, but I know how my own mind works. It needs to be constantly spinning or it begins to panic. When I take a break, I specifically do things that let my mind spin- but instead of having it spin on full speed, the way it does when I am actively creating something, I let it spin against itself, through accomplishing easier, pre-set tasks or re-acquainting myself with people I’m already familiar with. Accomplishments without too much challenge or with a much lower level of stress attached.

And yes, I think all these mental hoops are worth jumping through. No matter how you get to them, breaks are beneficial. Even if the point of the break isn’t being restful or really even slowing down the pace of general productivity. When I take breaks, I take a huge step back from my current projects. I don’t let myself think about the projects I want to be working on (sometimes can’t be helped, but at least I try). I think about other things. I consume the works of others. I pick up on points of views that the people I haven’t seen in awhile have picked up in their own life journeys. I allow myself to enjoy the little, usually even pointless, achievements and train myself to be content with all those little things. This helps me to recenter my own perspective, as well as recharging my sense of purpose and happiness with my choice of career.

So even for the super productive, going-all-the-time people like me, breaks are important. Whether it comes naturally or you have to schedule them, whether it entails lounging on a couch and marathoning Teen Wolf or getting out of the house and going dancing with your friends, they are crucial for your mental well-being, and thus beneficial for your dreams and aspirations. Make sure you’re taking them!

 

How do you like to take your breaks, readers?

Getting Ready for Halloween! And an Update.

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays by far- and I have so much to do this week! My costume this year is Casual!90s era Rogue from X-Men- I’ll be posting pictures of that later on this week for everyone. Tonight, I get to go to my English Department’s Annual Halloween party and should be getting plenty of material for that.

Writing-wise, I’ve been a bit on a hiatus (or what I would consider a hiatus- a week or two and I feel like I haven’t written in forever, even when I haven’t dropped things too much). I’ve been still submitting a couple of the short stories/novella pieces I wrote recently, (most notably Katherine’s Shadow and Good Women) so we’ll see where they go- I have an unnamed short story in the works, and The Right Time (a short story about twenty-something relationships in today’s social climate) is halfway through first drafting stages. In response to NaNoWriMo I’ve also begun drafting up the plot for the first book in a trilogy series apart from ‘Once Upon a Reality’, just to stretch my creative juices. We’ll see how far we can get through this book in this month before returning back to work on The Thing About Apples– or if I want to go ahead and take a break from that series to really buckle down on ‘The Wonder Land Chronicles’.

I always like to get the biggest chunks of actual writing out of the way as soon as any kind of inspiration hits me- that way, the bulk of my work is done in fine-tuning, editing, and fleshing out scenes rather than building things as I go. It’s also nice to jump genres for a little while, take a break from the more reality-based stories and flex my mind with a story more in the fantasy vein of things. We will see if I want to formally submit this to NaNoWriMo or if I will just be putting in the work alongside others in my own way- in either case, I’ll be writing in solidarity with all you other writers who are participating! It’s always a great opportunity to get pumped, keep going, and to push yourself into a great spurt of writing work. With my thesis defense coming up this next Monday, I’ll finally be out of the hardest part of this semester and into time where I can write more of what I want, when I want. I can’t wait!